Being unconditional

A lesson I've been learning as of late is "being unconditional."


Thinking of my dad, I never hear him say, "I've been paying your cell-phone bill, now what are you going to do for me?" He doesn't, because it's a gift--not a responsibility--from him. He does it willingly for us. He doesn't do it to play us like pawns or to somehow expect something (i.e., obedience) of us. He just does it and doesn't think twice about it.

Another example that has required a lifetime for my slow brain to understand is being unconditional in the same way. If I think that I've been patient with someone about criticisms, for example, then I would expect the same kind of forbearance and patience as I felt I have been exercising, at my turn of whipping out criticisms. But NO, this is not the case. That is not love. I cannot expect someone to treat me the same way that I feel I have been treating them, because that means I'm holding my perceived "righteousness" against them. What I mean by this is, I shouldn't feel entitled to righteousness, goodness, or what have you, because I've given these.


This is what love is: Not keeping a record of others' "wrongs." And especially for me, not keeping a record of my "rights" that I will use against others.

Ugh. Lesson I'm still learning.


We are forever indebted to Christ. And as long as we make Him our center, forgiving and letting go of our wants/entitlements becomes easier. Because we deserve so much worse.

We essentially gave up our rights when we decided to follow Jesus.

I love Luke 18:10-14, which compares the prayer of the Pharisee with that of the tax collector. As believers, we need to make sure that our focus is vertical and not lateral. Focusing on our position compared to God's rather than our position compared to those around us. Immeasurable disparity rather than finite technicalities.


So if my dad gives from his heart, or if I bear with someone, neither of us should expect anything back. Both should just think about loving that person. End of story. We don't have the right to even think that we deserve anything. Understanding our indebtedness to Jesus should help with that. And Jesus doesn't demand anything from us. He gives us a choice.
It should play the same way with us.

And my favorite verse of all time,

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." (Romans 14:8)


Always indebted. I love that. It's freeing.

mM..Qualities in a man I look for

HAHA, the title is pretty ridiculous.

A friend recently asked me what girls look for in a man (whom they want to marry).

Hence, the list.
I might not be able to speak for every woman, but here goes:

-Teachable
-Slow to speak
-Open
-Open-minded
-Respectful and understanding of parents, regardless of how unreasonable they can be
-Willing to try new things
-Completely immersed in God and always seeking God
-Truthful
-Tactful/Appropriate
-Has initiative
-Sense of responsibility


These below fall under my personal likes category:

-Articulate (always find that attractive)
-Enjoys nature
-Tall and ripped. haha i'm totally kidding.


So what about you all? Qualities guys find important in girls and vice versa.
Enlighten me.

Parental love

I used to think my parents were controlling. And they probably were. But as I've grown up and as they've grown as parents, I've begun to understand their love for me.

It can easily be equated to one's relationship with God. You don't do things out of fear of being punished, but because you know that by following their instructions, you're trusting that they know what's best for you. Granted, they are unreasonable at times, but still, it's all about the trust. And trusting that they have your best interest in mind.

Long ago, I felt mistreated, imprisoned (literally could not leave the house), and felt like I was walking on eggshells around them.. And I still have this intrinsic fear that I'm going to get punished. BUT, they have calmed down a lot, so rather than speaking out of anger, they speak in a cool, stern and gentle fashion.

It's awesome that no matter what stage we're in and the new experiences that we need to learn to deal with, we all grow to be better (only if we're in the Lord).

I've come to respect my parents, and I still struggle in accepting what they think is best for me. But I've begun to understand them better. They've let go control and I've let go of resentment. Somewhat. haha

Anyways, I love my parents and they'd do anything for me.

Closing verses:

"Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you."
(Deuteronomy 5:16)

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." (Ephesians 6:1-3)

20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (Colossians 3:20)

Happy early Father's day and a belated Mother's day! Wish them well!